Existentialism on Prom Night

Work 1st week

Sat, 06 May 2006 21:46:54 GMT

Well for the rest of the week I just finished up Chris's drawings, and then started working on some different ones for a guy named Chuck. His drawings required a different part of the PCAD software, known as PCB. Mainly because the drawings from him involve multiple layers (they're board layouts) and you can't just copy and paste.

I pretty much did his drawings all day Friday. It was hard to find him because he was installing alarms or something around the building, but in the mean time I figured out where we get supplies which I was in desperate need of.

Well thats about it!

Work days 1-2

Sat, 06 May 2006 21:44:56 GMT

Well my co-op advisor guy advised me that it may be good to write down some of the stuff that goes on at my job so whenever I have to write my end of the semester report it will be easier. Plus I never update this thing anyways, so why not?

SOoooo day 1.

I thought for sure I was going to be late. But I actually go there on time. Bruce (my supervisor) showed me around the engineering and where my cubicle was. I HAVE A NAME PLATE! idk...I just found that cool. Then he got me started learning P-CAD which is a lot like the PSPICE program we learn in 210, just...better. So for a couple of hours he showed me the basics and just kinda did a some little demonstrations. Then he brought me one of his old drawings and let me draw it in the computer using P-CAD. It took pretty much all of yesterday. Granted the programs are pretty much the same, but there were a lot of components I didn't know their names or how to find them in the libraries, so I'd have to ask everytime, or ask how certain things should actually be connected. But it was cool because he'd come over and show me and actually explain what was going on in the circuit so I was learning at the same time. And that was really really neat.

I also met 2 of the 3 girls (ladies) that work in the engineering department. (one is on vacation). They're really nice and I have lunch with them now so thats cool. Little girly talk, gossip, whatnot. One lady, Michelle is really helpful and friendly. And the other (can't remember her name right now) is just a good conversationalist.

that was pretty much day 1. Day 2 wasn't too bad either. I figured out if I get there by 730 I get to leave at 4. So I did that today. I finished up my drawing from yesterday after Bruce made me revise it probably 5 or 6 times. But I know he was just emphasizing how important it is to get the drawings right because they really are the basis for everything else. Errors MUST be caught at that level or it can cost a lot. It took me all the way up to lunch to finish that.

After lunch I started block diagrams for an old co-op (whos now working as an engineer), Chris Burtka. His project is rebuilding/revising something or other but we have to update the user manuals as well, which is where the blcok diagrams come into place. I spent the rest of the day doing those. They aren't hard, but i'm building one from scratch so its just time consuming to make sure everything looks nice.
Bruce said today that he's so picky about things because I may not realize it now but these drawings are going to represent me even 20 years from now. All of this stuff is a lot like art is how he put it and thats really really cool because my artistic side is finally being noticed (he pointed it out to me) So thats exciting because I love design and this job is really fun right now.

Except for getting up early :P

An Entry about Being Happy

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 18:53:11 GMT

What a real entry???

Yea...you know...thats how I do.

Anyways...I kinda stole this on off of Erica. Her talking about how even though she is still working at the same place, still going to the same school, all that...she's happier now.

For some reason, I've been really happy lately. Not worrying about stuff thats been plaguing me the past couple months, and actually enjoying stuff!
I don't really know why. If anything, I've been dealing with a lot of things both personally and at school and such, but I've really had a peace about everything lately. That hey, maybe God still is out there looking out for me. It just seems like if things are supposed to work out, they have been for me lately. I can't get into a lot of details of course, but its really amazing to see God work in my life again. Not that He ever stopped I guess, but its cool to realize that it never did stop. I just stopped looking.

Anyhow, I had my first professional interview ever. Also thought I was going to throw up for the first time in a long time. I was that neverous. But everything seemed to go great, I'll find out later this week if they are going to offer me a job or not.

Other than that...ya know, I'm just Laura Lou. :)

Cya all around!

~Laura~

My Entries Never Have a Point Really

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 04:53:47 GMT

.YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name)
Coco Polk

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on mother's side first name, favorite candy)
Laura Sour Patch Kids...I'm gonna make it Laura Kid

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
L Llo

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, name of high school)
Polar Bear Cab

5. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of dad/mom, cell phone Company you use):
Tony Verizon

7. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (daily prescription medicine, make of car)
Prozac What

8. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, street you grew up on):
Elizabeth Louise Polk

9. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (first word you see on your left, favorite restaurant)
Micro Macaroni (grill)

10. YOUR KUNG FU NAME: (2nd favorite animal, favorite mineral)
Turtle Silver

Woah! An update (I know...)

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 01:31:55 GMT

Just a reminder I really don't write in here anymore...and I tried to go back and put all my entries on private but there is just way to many of them. So I stopped after my first day in college...cause anything before that...heck I don't even remember anymore...and I figure anything I wrote back then probably won't hurt anyone now like some of my other entries did.

Why not delete the whole thing? Well I like to keep it for commenting and reading and such, and every once in awhile I update for my own sake

Hope everyone is good :)

~Laura~

Signing Off

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 21:49:17 GMT

I know it was not the main topic of our conversation last night, but Amy made a lot of good points about the whole livejournal thing. I'll admit I got caught up in teh drama of other people's lives, but when your's feels horrible-reading about other people's problem is actually kind of nice. Its like a drug-do something bad to cover up something worse already present in your life.

So I'm writing this as my last entry, hopefully forever. I'm probably going to make the rest of my journal private, if I ever find the time. I already hear you asking "why not just delete it?" but I'm against destroying anything I've ever written - because at the time, its how I felt.

Lastly, I just want to say sorry to anyone I've hurt or offended in the past few months. I know just writing sorry on here probably doesn't cut it for an apology, so don't get annoyed at me if I say "I'm sorry" a million times more. Because I really am sorry. It sucks I had to learn my lesson this way, but it was probably the best way I could have, ya know?

So once again, I'm sorry. From now on if you wanna read about the ups and downs of my life you'll have to sneak into my bedroom (choose one) and find one of my many 1/2 completed journals wherever it may be (have fun).

As always,

smiles and hugs

~Laura~

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 03:04:36 GMT

livejournal is the devil.

sure

Sun, 08 May 2005 20:52:43 GMT

lol

Sun, 06 Mar 2005 04:52:32 GMT

YAY FOR ME AND CAROL!!!!

Your Silver-Age Superhero Career

LJ Username

Your alias first-name is:

Your alias last-name is:

You can turn....

...into:

You team up with...

killerduckie

...to battle:

Michael Moore

You petition to join:

Superheroics Anonymous

Their response:

they all roll their eyes and "brush" you away with their hands

You are best remembered for:

blowing up the moon

Your heroic level: - 36%

This fun quiz by sigma7 - Taken 59859 Times.
</a>

New! Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

I knew it...

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 04:16:59 GMT

How did I already know I would get this answer?

Well since like everyone and their brother did this quiz I thought I would be a follower and do it too.

You Are a Golden Retriever Puppy

Tolerant, fun-loving, and patient.
You are eager to please - and attached to your frisbee.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

lol

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 21:51:25 GMT

FoxyJ1786: i was thinking maybe he was just bieng nice teaching me how to snowboard
FoxyJ1786: (shrugs)
FoxyJ1786: it crossed my mind
Ijsttouchdurbum : no he wasn't
Ijsttouchdurbum : trust me
Ijsttouchdurbum : for guys...snowboarding can be like...idk...sex

FoxyJ1786 : hahah omgosh laura lou ...SEX?!
FoxyJ1786 : hahaha

Ijsttouchdurbum : ok bad comparison
FoxyJ1786 : omgoodness i am laughing so hard right now lol
Ijsttouchdurbum : but u know what i mean?
FoxyJ1786 : no its was just funny

ok...so i'm not as good at comparisons as jon is... *oops* (i tried)

This made me feel a bit better about myself...

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 19:31:40 GMT

...but its pretty pathetic that I have to rely on online quizzes to do that for me...

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	erotic
Your hugs are...	gentle
Your eyes...	twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...	heart warming
Your smell is...	amazing
Your smile is...	amazing
Your love is...	unique

Quiz created with MemeGen!

cool link

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 16:37:40 GMT

this is cute...check it out...

http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

Survey I Stole From Sheryl...I was just bored

Wed, 08 Sep 2004 19:13:11 GMT

Sorry its long...I promise you don't have to read it lol

ABOUT YOU
Your name:: Laura Lou
Age:: 18
Natural hair colour:: brown/red
Eye colour:: blue/green
Number of siblings: none
Glasses/contacts?:: yes
Piercings:: 2...but I want more!!!!
Tattoos:: none yet *wink* *wink*
Braces?:: nope

FAVOURITE
Colour:: blue
Band:: there are SO many to list haha
Song:: hmmm...that's tough...probalby "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban or "Love Song" by 311
Stuffed animal:: I have so many bears, there like kids, I can't descriminate between them!
Video game:: Yoshi's Story!
TV show:: CSI
Movie:: Meet the Deedles
Book:: The Onion Girl
Food:: Italian
Game on a cell phone:: blackjack
CD cover:: I have NO idea
Flower:: white roses
Scent:: cucumber melon
Animal:: bear
Comic book:: not sure
Cereal:: I don't eat cereal
Website:: mine! Click if u Love Me!
Cartoon:: lilo and stitch

DO YOU
Play an instrument?:: yup...guitar, piano, and sax
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week? I don't really watch tv
Like to sing?:: to myself
Have a job?:: I'm a lazy bum...no one will hire me!!!!!
Have a cell phone?:: yup
Like to play sports?:: Tennis and Soccer!!!! And of course snowboarding...but u don't really 'play' that lol
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:: yes
Have a crush on someone?: I always do
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?:: Australia (I wish!)
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?: ummm....no
Have any special talents/skills?:: I don't know...you tell me
Exercise daily?:: I like going to the gym...it annoys me when I can't
Like school?:: I haven't been able to give it a fair chance yet...

CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?:: zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:: no
Speak any other languages?:: a lil spanish
Go a day without food?:: if i really wanted/had to
Stay up for more than 24 hours?:: i love my sleep lol
Read music, not just tabs?:: u know it!
Roll your tongue?:: sure
Eat a whole pizza?:: I've never really tried...but that sounds really good right now

HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?:: kinda
Cried to get out of trouble?:: yea haha
Gotten lost in your city?:: no
Seen a shooting star?:: yes
Been to any other countries besides the united states?:: canada
Had a serious surgery?: ummm no
Stolen something important to someone else?:: not on purpose?
Solved a rubiks cube?:: nope still have my 10 year old one
Gone out in public in your pajamas?:: heck yea!
Cried over a girl?:: my cousin
Cried over a boy?:: who hasn't?
Kissed a random stranger?:: nope
Hugged a random stranger?:: yes
Been in a fist fight?:: no
Been arrested?:: nope
Done drugs?: nope
Had alcohol?:: un poco
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:: nope
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:: yes
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:: yes
Swore at your parents?:: under my breath
Been to warped tour?:: nope
Kicked a guy where it hurts?:: yes in like first grade or something
Been in love?:: yes
Been close to love?: uh yea?
Been to a casino?:: nope
Ran over an animal and killed it?:: omg i would never drive again
Broken a bone?:: eardrum
Gotten stitches?:: nope
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?:: nope
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:: lol no
Made homemade muffins?:: yes
Bitten someone?:: well someone told me 'bite me' once...so...
If yes, who?:: lol
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:: yea!!!!!!
More than 5 times?:: no :(
Been to niagra falls?:: nope
Burped in someones face?:: haha yeah
Gotten the chicken pox?:: yup

WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth:: this morning
Went to the bathroom:: when i got home from school
Saw a movie in theaters:: forever and a day ago...probably in june
Read a book:: yesterday
Had a snow day:: last year
Had a slumber party:: holly randomly sleeps over
Made fun of someone:: today w/amy c Tripped in front of someone:: can't remember
Went to the grocery store:: monday? w/jons parents
Got sick:: friday
Cursed:: a long time ago

PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables::fruits
Black/white:: black and white
Lights on/lights off:: off *wink* *wink*
TV/movie:: movie
Car/truck::truck
Body spray/lotion:: hmmm erica got me addicted to body lotion
Cash/check:: cash
Pillows/blankets:: both
Headache/stomach ache:: headache
Paint/charcoal:: charcoal
Chinese food/mexican food::that's tough
Summer/winter:: winter--snowboarding!
Snow/rain:: snow--snowboarding!
Fog/misty:: misty
Rock/rap:: rock
Meat/vegetarian: veggie!
Boy/girl:: for what?
Chocolate/vanilla:: chocolate mmmMMMmmm
Sprinkles/icing:: sprinkles (rainbow)
Cake/pie::pie French toast/french fries:: neihter
Strawberries/blueberries:: strawberries
Ocean/swimming pool:: pool Hugs/kisses:: hugs
Cookies/muffins:cookies
Wallet/pocket:: pocket
Window/door:: window
Pink/purple::pink
Cat/dog:: dog
Long sleeve/short sleeve:: long sleeve
Pants/shorts:: pants
Winter break/spring break:: either
Spring/autumn:: spring Clouds/clear sky:: clouds
Moon/mars:: moon

LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP
Have you ever been in love?:: yes
Are you single?:: no
Are you in a relationship?:: yes
If so, for how long?:: hmmm i never remember lol
Do you believe there is someone for everyone?:: yup
What is your idea of the best date?: dinner, walk, movie, talk
Do you think love is a load of crap?: no...but I'm in love so I guess I'm biased
If you are single, have you had any boyfriends/girlfriends before?::
Have you ever been dumped?: no
Have you ever dumped someone?:: no

SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?::rock
What time is it now?:: 3:11
What day is it?:: wednesday
Whens the last time you called someone?:: around 2
How much money do you have right now?:: 25 dollars
Are you hungry?:: nope just ate
Whatcha doin?:: filling out a survey
Do you like parades?:: yes
Do you like the moon?:: sure
What are you going to do when youre done with this?:: make brownies for kathy sue
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:: maybe if ur drunk
If you could have any magical power what would it be?:: invisibility
Have you ever had a picnic?:: yea :) *memories*
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:: well justin and sarah did...so basically...yea
What about sock em boppers?:: nope :(
Are you wearing any socks right now?: yes...and they have NO holes!

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny?:: sure
pretty?:: sometimes
sarcastic?:: very
lazy?:: very
hyper?:: not as hyper as holly
friendly?:: yup!
evil?:: not really
smart?:: kinda
strong?:: i lift weights?
talented?:: u tell me
dorky?:: of course!

WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?:: maybe
Play strip poker?:: if there were hot guys playing!
Run away?:: yes
Curse at a teacher?:: no
Not take a shower for a week?:: i've gone four days lol
Ask someone out?:: yea
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:: nope
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: australia here i come!
Go scuba diving?:: yes
Write a book?:: working on it
Become a rockstar?: yea!!!!!

LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?:: biolage
What kind of computer do you have?: gateway
What grade are you in?:: college
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:: heck yea!
How many posters do you have in your room?:: o wow...a lot...
How many cds do you have?:: same answer as before
What time is it now?:: 3:18

I've achieved :-D status for erica

Mon, 06 Sep 2004 15:38:11 GMT

I'm so happy right now...so relieved... :) :) :)

This weekend was the best...I needed it...so bad...even though I was probably "acting emo" a lot like Erica pointed out at Dan's...truth is I was just kinda kickin back, taking everything in...

Saturday I drove up to Amy's (Fary) cottage with her and Dan for a day up there...I love it up there...get to see my house and everything haha...we went tubing (ya my butt is DEFINETLY brusied) and knee-boarding...which was really fun...but I'm extremely jealous of Daniel and his 360 skills hahaha...all I walked away with was a cut/purple eye (it isn't quite black yet lol)...so yea I definetly get to go back to school and meet lots of new people looking like I got beat up haha

(and now i'm ready for school...)

Sunday we threw a surprise party for Erica's birthday...and she really was surprised which is awesome...Jess and Dan baked her a strawberry cake (yes, a real one, not a cherry one) and then we (me, jon, dan) all threw confetti at her...and it got EVERYwhere...but it was sweet...I could tell she was really excited and stuff

Jon got back yesterday afternoon (obviously)...we had pizza hut after church and got to talk about things that have been stressing me out...and I feel completly better now...its amazing what he can do for...he always seems to know the right words to say to make me feel better...and his hugs work miracles (lol I know that sounds cheesey--but it really is true!)

School starts in two days...more than likely I'm going to have a messed up eye that day thanks to my fight with the kneeboard...but u know what...I'm ok with that...it might even be a good conversation starter haha...I've been trying to look at the positive side of things lately...and its been so great...I've been a lot happier...still got my inner emo side though haha...but not like the freakish emo...hahaha nevermind I'm not even going to try to explain myself...

*SMILES and hugs*
~*~Laura Lou~*~

:) :) :) :)

831

I feel like such a loser...

Sat, 04 Sep 2004 00:21:49 GMT

Hmmm...you're probably wondering why...I mean my title...why I feel like a loser...truth is I can't really tell you because I don't even know.

I wish I could start this summer all over again...I definetly would have done things differently. 1-I would have been home more...which would have led to 2-me not making stupid decisions in Florida...3-I would have hung out more with my friends before they left for college because now they're all gone and its so weird...4-I would have listened to my inner voice...and lastly, but most importantly 5-I wouldn't have driven God to be so drastic.

I know I can't really explain a lotof these...especailly 2, 4, and 5...but if you're close to me you know what I'm talking about...I just wish...I wish I could go back in time...well I guess I really don't...because I've learned from my mistakes (hopefully)...I just wish I didn't have to learn this way...argh this is frustrating me...

nevermind...

Tomorrow I'm going up to Amy's cottage for her birthday and Labor day...Jon was supposed to go but his parents made him go to Ohio instead...actually made isn't the right word...they MADE jake go...Jon likes it there...but he wanted to go to Amy's too...I guess his mom just kinda hurt his feelings because she made him feel really bad for asking and all...Danny's going...which should be interesting b/c it will probably be just me and him on the way home and I seriously freak out on the freeway sometimes...and he has a tendancy to fall asleep lol...not that its a bad thing...idk...I just wish Jon could go...I know that sounds so loser-girlfriendish but really he helps calm me down...and my parents trust him to drive the car, which is nice.

Nothing really has happened lately...me and Jon went out today for our 15 month anniversary (yes I got it right this time)-which was yesterday-we went to Mongolian BBQ and to Applebee's (for dessert) then he came over and we played with Baylee and sat on my couch for seriously 2 seconds then his dad called to say they were leaving...I hope he has fun in Ohio...even with all that's going on...he just called to say they got there ok...call time: a grand total of 2 minutes, 20 seconds...yea I'm a loser....

I just feel really alone right now...and so disconnected...from everyone...

*sigh*
~*~Laura Lou~*~

I Want To Stay Home for 2 Minutes...Honestly...

Wed, 01 Sep 2004 20:30:11 GMT

Today has been busy...and I just want to take a breath and be at home for more than a half hour...o well...whatever...

I woke up at the early Early time of 9:00...I was planning on getting up at 9:30, but I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep so I thought I'd get a jump start on my day.

Holly and Erica came over and we all went to U of M Dearborn...Holly had to buy her books, Erica had to pay tuition, and I had to find ALL my million classrooms I have to be in lol...I'm so jealous of them...well not really...except all their classes are in the CASL building and my are like EVERYWHERE...seriously...I couldn't even figure out how to get into one of the buildings for 10 minutes...I felt so stupid...but I found all my classes...now its just remembering where they all are haha...o and I found out my chemistry lab & rec don't start until Monday the 13th, so that means the first day of school I only have one class!!! And its my math class so its short...I was seriously so excited its pathetic...

Today is my mom's birthday. We're taking her out for dinner and bought her cake and flowers and stuff...which is all cool and groovy, but I highly doubt she'll appreciate it...well I don't mean it exactly like that...its just that whenever me or my dad try to do something nice for her, she always ruins it...and gets in a bad mood...its like she doesn't really care about all the effort we go through to make her happy...and I really wouldn't care if she'd rather stay at home, have us cook her dinner, and make brownies for her cake...but she never even hints at what she would or wouldn't like so how are we supposed to even guess?....Its kinda hard to explain but its a really vicious cycle and I always get blamed for being in a bad mood or when things go wrong...

Its just really frustrating...

Alright well I'm out for now...talk to you dorks later...

*hugs*
~*~Laura Lou~*~

Watching WSOP

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 03:52:31 GMT

I never knew poker could be so interesting...or funny...

So I guess I owe you all a really long entry since I haven't updated in forever...I'll start from Saturday because that's really as far back as I can remember...

I woke up kinda early to take a shower b/c me, Hollybo, and Jon went up to see Jaclyn @ albion for her birthday...that was so much fun...and now I wish I could live in a dorm...but I honestly don't know if I could make it on my own...I was talking to Jon and I realized that pretty much my whole life I've never had to do anything completly on my own...I guess I rely on other people too much...and that makes me want to become more independent...and finally get a job...

Me and Holly decided to make a dorm room in one of our houses hahaha

Anyhow we went out for pizza and I got to meet some of Jaclyn's friends...Claire (Cler), Heather, Tori, Scott....I think that's it...and I met her roomate Emily...and some other guys too including Mach Mach (who has the coolest name)...and we got to see Chris up there which was cool (Jon got really excited)

When we were leaving from the pizza place I totally backed into another car but that's ok because it didn't really happen and then on the way home my car started falling apart but that wasn't as serious as I thought...

Hmmm so that was pretty much that trip...it was cool seeing Jaclyn (and Chris) I miss her lots...but she seems to be having fun so thats cool :)

Today was church...I thought we has S.W.A.T. but there was a mixup...then I went to buddy's for lunch...took a nap on my buddy...went back to church...then to Buffalo Wild Wings, and back to my house to play Euchere with my parents and Jon...

So its been a pretty good weekend...though Saturday night kinda sucked because I totally balled my eyes out...but that's just a bad memory I want to forget as soon as possible (but pray for me--PLEASE)

Gotta get up early and go pay tuiton tomorrow at U of M :/ I'm getting a bit nervous...but REALLY excited...

Nighty Night!
*hugs*
~*~Laura Lou~*~

Hummmmmmm

Thu, 26 Aug 2004 15:11:41 GMT

So I realized I haven't really done a real entry in a while...

So um... *REAL ENTRY*

guess my life really is that boring...

Amy For US President 2004

Tue, 24 Aug 2004 20:13:40 GMT

I got bored...worked on an idea from Daniel...

stolen from E+Dog

Mon, 23 Aug 2004 21:50:14 GMT

You are Hands Down. You are happy and your life is
beautiful. You feel completly ready to plunge
into a relationship without worrying about
getting hurt.

Which Dashboard Confessional song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Just A Bra and Guy's Pj's

Sun, 22 Aug 2004 04:01:40 GMT

So once again everyone else is out having a blast tonight and I'm stuck at home...its sorta my own fault...I was having an "I just want to be alone" moment...but whatever...my parents are freaks about that anyways...

Jac just got back from a dance party, and everyone else is watching B-rated horror at Daniels...that's like two of my favorite things to do...

At least today was fun...Jon & Me hung out to celebrate for my birthday...even though it was a week ago. He made me lunch...well he inteded to but his mom kinda took over...and then we watched "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen"...well it was supposed to be "The Prince and Me" but the store didn't have it. But anyways...after that we went to my cousins' house because their baby just turned 1 and they were having a party for her. And then we went out to dinner...but first we had to drive around for almost an hour trying to find somewhere that didn't have 2 million people in the parking lot...we decided on Sammy V's in wyndotte and then after we walked to Geletto's and down on the river...

It was a nice evening...I messed up a little...but that's something I don't want to talk about...and I punished myself (not in the creepy let me cut my arm open way...just in my own way)...and there's other stuff too...just stuff I can't write for the world to see.

Well that's about it...hope everyone is having a blast w/o me.

*hugs*
~*~Laura Lou~*~

College Sucks

Sat, 21 Aug 2004 04:20:21 GMT

I hate it already...and I just wish it was over with.

I know this probably sounds weird...and I'm actually excited about going to college...but today I got a HUGE reality check.

I called Alli's house for about the 5th time to see if I could take her b-day present over and someone finally answered...except it was her dad, and only to tell me she had already gone up to college.

Which sucks. I've known Alli since we were both 4...we grew up together...literally...we've been best friends since 1st grade...and now the closet she is to me is 2 and 1/2 hours away...and I didn't even get to say goodbye...at least me and Jac got to say goodbye...but even that was tearful because now I have no one to talk to who feels the same exact way as I do right now in life.

So college is taking away my friends. Its killing me in anticipation for when I start. And I hate it. Almost as much as you know who.

*sigh*

~*~Laura Lou~*~

little survey b/c i was bored and no one is online

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 15:20:14 GMT

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--Your Favorite--
Hair Color::	brown
Eye Color::	blue
(Their)Music Genre Preference::	the same i like...little bit of rock, little bit of punk, little bit of christian...
Height(estimate)::	taller than me
Age::	i thought older than me, but it doesn't really matter
Personality Type::	fun to be with
--This or That--
Older or Younger::	older
Romantic or Horndog::	like that's a hard question
Smart or Stupid::	smart
Fat or Skinny::	i don't like chunky guys...sorry
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular::	skinny but muscular
Punk or Preppy::	one who has his own style
The Big Picture or the Little Things::	both
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present::	well i don't really like either...except flowers
Mixtape or Burned CD::	isn't that really the same thing?
Love or Lust::	true love
Emotional or Just Not::	emotional
Sincere or Jokester::	one who knows the right time to be either
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet::	uh i think that question is mean
Sexy or Just "cute"::	:)
Arse or Abs::	arbs
Hair or Hands::	hair
Dimples or Eyes::	eyes
Biceps or Calves/Thighs::	biceps...only b/c most guys i know have chicken legs anyways
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) ::	???? that question is weird
Clean Shaven or Scruffy::	not like ew scruffy
Rugged or Prim and Proper::	nice
Countryboy or Cityboy:	ohio boys :)
Date alone or With Friends:	alone
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause::	one who acts like a mama's boy...but u really know the inner rebel
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much::	yes
Loved a guy because he stalked you::	o gosh NO
Loved a guy because he hated you::	kinda
Asked your friend's crush out::	never on purpose
Lead a guy on for kicks::	once but that was a HUGE mistake
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott::	no
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend::	not intentionally
Lied about not having a boyfriend::	no
Lied about having one::	no
Cheated::	why would i mess w/a good thing?
Been Cheated on::	no
Had a crush on a gay guy::	lol does a bi count?
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Boxers?::	yea?
Briefs?::	o i get it...i thought the question meant do you want them to wear boxers lol
Hat?::	sure
Skater Shoes?::	yea
Pimp Shoes?::	heck no
Band Shirts?::	yea :)
Vintage shirts?::	sure
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?::	not really
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?::	nope
Independent/DC?::	yea
Skavenger/UGP?::	?
Fox/Thor?::	as long as he's not posing
Jeans or Shorts?::	jeans
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?::	who's going to say no? but i think happiness is more important
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?::	no
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?::	i don't know...mabye...if the question means do u like hanging out w/his friends more than he does...but no if it means i like hanging out with his friends more than hanging out w/him
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?:	no...that's called leading them on
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?::	yes....haha j/k
Do looks matter?::	in a way
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?::	well i was...then i wasn't...and now i'm afraid i'll mess up again
Does size matter?::	well ok i have a dirty mind...
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?::	not like the plague
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?::	no...they're my friends...none of them are ugly!
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be)::	what?
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?::	crushes and guy friends maybe...but i tell jon things i wouldn't tell other people...because i trust him
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?::	what?!?!
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?::	yes
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?::	no...i think that is something speical
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?:	you bet
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?:	w/my friends its friend love...but w/jon its the real thing...and i mean it everytime i say it b/c i don't say it that often so it won't be ruined
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?::	yea...but its all subconcious so why does it matter?
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?::	possibly w/justin just because of his lips lol...but not right now...
Does this survey suck nuts?:	sure

Ultimate Opposite Sex Survey (for girls) brought to you by BZOINK!

Enjoy!!!!

Why do I bother?

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 03:22:53 GMT

I'm so sorry...I messed up...and I feel so horrible right now you don't even know...

Please forgive me...I keep making the same mistakes...and I'm so lucky you keep giving me second chances...

I feel so small right....I feel so insignificant...and I don't feel worthy of your love...or your attention....

I just want to disappear into nothing...